The creation of this blog is in response to the need for us to stay in touch with our loved ones. Use this blog, to share your thoughts, photos and happenings in your life. Let us all make a conscious effort to communicate with the rest of the family.
The nurse met mom and me at the elevator. Mom wept quietly. She sensed that he was gone. We entered his room in quiet reverence. My three sisters were gathered around dad’s hospital bed. They glanced up to greet us with tears of disbelief.
The tubes were disconnected. The port for his IV was removed. The monitor that mirrored his heartbeat was stilled. We wept. We wept for how much we would miss him.
Today is the twelfth anniversary of dad’s passing. You would think that each year gets easier with distance and time, but it doesn’t.
“I’ve got to call him about this exciting Yankee game.” I catch myself.
“Hsiao-Yen is now eighteen, and very creative.” I catch myself.
“Mom has passed away. We took care of her as you had wanted.” I catch myself.
“I iron the laundry like you used to.” I catch myself.
“You now have four new granddaughters. They have started school.” I catch myself.
“Veronique has graduated from college is making a movie in NYC.” I catch myself.
“Mei-An loves to sing.” I catch myself.
“I kept the bottle of your Tres Flores. Once in a while I open it up and inhale. It smells like your hair.” I catch myself.
I have some interesting news to share. I am currently working on a Walt Disney Picture called "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." It stars Nick Cage, Alfred Molina and Monica Belucci and is being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. Recently, the Art Department asked me if I had any family photos that they could use to decorate a a Chinese Barber Shop. I submitted a bunch of photos and they ended up using some for the shop. They used a bunch of old photos of Grandma, Grandpa, Great Grandpa and Auntie Mee-Li, Auntie Fung, Uncle Tommy, and my Dad from when they were kids. I'm going to take a look at the set next week and can hopefully show you some pictures. I'm not sure how apparent these photos will be in the final product. Without going into too much detail, the barber shop is part of a larger action sequence. But I guess we'll have to see the movie when it comes out next summer and see if we can see our family in it!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Happy Mother's Day!
This is my first Mother's Day without mom. Her first anniversary in heaven will be the end of this month. My sisters, brothers, her grandchildren, great grandchildren, her brother, and I miss her dearly. I am grateful that she gave me life.
If I were to think of a woman who embodied the woman described in Proverbs 31:10-31, that woman would have been my mom.
She lived in a village in a rural part of China and never had the opportunity to go to school, but she was gifted with the wisdom and knowledge that exceded any degree.
As an intuitive person, she had an air of innocence and trust but knew instantly the maladies of a person's heart, for she suffered from the cruelties of war, the betrayal of village members, the humiliation of birthing girls, the loneliness of being a single parent when my father left for America, and the heartbreak of separation from her three young daughters.
She was the mom of seven children, five daughters and two sons. She treated each child as if he or she were the only child. Contrary to the societal and cultural dictates of the time, she loved each of her daughters. She nurtured them with her care and love.
Alongside her mother-in-law and her first three daughters, she farmed their land and shared their meager harvest with the rest of the villagers. In times of famine, she dug up roots to feed her family. She became a coolie to carry cargo from docked ships to the city shops to earn extra money to help pay for her husband's college tuition.
The ship personnel looked at her in disbelief. Her translucent, flawless complexion was not the face of a common laborer.
In the United States, she and my father transformed the back half of a store into their new home. There were no apartments for rent to Chinese and dogs. The one room became a home for us until we reached puberty. She cooked five course dinners on two burners each evening. She hosted family parties of twenty or more people at a time. I remember the parties spilling out of the store and onto the sidewalk-the chatter, the squealing of happy children running and playing, the arguing of the adults, the clinging of glasses, the sizzle of hot oil, the clanging of the spatula against the wok, and the endless laughter. And oh, yes, the aromas of exotic dishes flavoring the air. In her modest Chinese way, she rejected the complements about her cooking, but she smiled in her heart. She had maintained her title of being the best cook in her village while in her new home in America.
She was the life of the party! She stayed current with world affairs through our translation of the news into Chinese. She never learned English. She only spoke enough to carry on business in the outer half of the store, a Chinese laundry, a New York City phenomenon.
When we were grown, she made Thanksgiving dinners and invited our friends who could not return to their homes or did not have a family to celebrate the holiday with.
She designed and sewed her dresses by hand. When she was pregnant, she made her own maternity clothes. Not familiar with shopping for maternity outfits, my father bought two dresses, and my mom would remake them into one big dress!
She had a quiet spirit and had learned to be at peace. She learned to be content in whatever situation she was in like the apostle Paul in Philippians 4:12-13, I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me the strength.
When she was presented with the Good News, she acknowledged her need for Jesus. We prayed frequently together. In her last days when her body became frail and would not cooperate with her, she no longer remembered how to pray. I held her hand and led our prayer. My mom's forgetting of how to pray spoke to me of the importance and urgency of 2 Corinthians 6:2... I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation. We just don't know what events lie ahead for us. When you are aware of the Holy Spirit prompting you of your need for Jesus, please respond as my mom did.
We, her children remember her, and call her blessed.
We miss mom, but we have a hope. We will see her again in heaven.
I encourage each of you this Mother's Day to savor each moment with your mom.
How did you spend this Mother's Day with your mom?
The party animal that I am, I've been to two Chinese New Year parties and one at home. The first one was on Sat. night with our friends Joe and Rosemarie Shirk. They invited a Chinese lady (Alice) who teaches in CMU's Osher program to cook. She made some very tasty dishes. We (all the ladies) helped my jiao-zi (Mandarin for dumplings). We made vegetarian and shrimp. There were other dishes. All very tasty. Other guests included Rosemarie's brother and Alice's male friend.
My second party was on Sun. at the Pittsburgh Chinese School. John and I watched the kids perform and we stayed for dinner. It was the regular Chinese buffet fare. Lots of food and pretty good. It was great seeing all the families. They had karaoke. The people who sang seemed to be old-hands at doing it. They sounded great.
We didn't celebrate at home until Mon. night. We didn't have all the fix'ins we would have had if we were in NYC. After all, where would I find a chicken with a its head and feet in Pittsburgh!!!!!
We had watercress soup; see goo with loopcheung; stir fried chicken with water chestnuts, lotus root, dried mushrooms; salmon with blackbeans; thi fun: and brown rice.
The next day we had tee doys and gai lungs. Yes, you read it right. I stayed up until 4 AM and cooked them in hot oil at 9 AM in the Mom-tradition. I did the same last year. I now understand why mom and sometimes dad worked at night. It's so much easier to work without the distractions. I remember how wonderful it was in the laundry and at 48 St. waking up in the AM smelling the tee doys and gai lung cooking in hot oil during Chinese New Year. Hsaio-Yen said it smelled good.
I made about 30 tee doys and 34 gai lungs. I took some over to the Shirks (did the same last year). They're crazy about them.
John says I finally master the tee doys. They are thin shinned with a lot of filling-lotus seed paste and crunchy peanut butter. The were crunchy on the outside and moist and warm on the inside. Oh soooo good... I really like the better on the second and third days when their soft and a bit tough and a bit hard to chew.
I also wanted to make fan su and fat tee. I have all the ingredients, but I was a bit too ambitious. I never got to them but hope to in a few days. I don't know how mom ever did it-with us four and having to take care of grandma. Boy, she was a super-mom! Such a magnificent human being-sacrificing for her family!!!
Well, I was on Skype hoping to find you on, but you weren't. How about on Sat. at 9 PM?????
Should I make this our first entry in our "Familee" blog???
Miss all of you. With technology the way it's advancing, maybe I'll some day be able to send you the smell and taste of tee doys and gai lung over the internet.
新年快乐！(happiness in the new year)
恭喜发财！！Wishing you prosperity)
Love,
Mee-Li
PS I'll send pics of the tee doys and gai lung as soon as I figure out how to download from my camera. I need to make an appoitment with my in house tech support team (JJ and HLJ)
